I Don't Wanna Be In Love
by SweeneyTodd-aholic22
Summary: What would happen to Johanna if Sweeney and Anthony didn't come as soon as they did? Can she deal with becoming Johanna Turpin? Will she take matters into her own hands? rating up! LEMON is up...eek
1. Chapter 1: A Depressing Proposal

**I Don't Wanna Be In Love**

_A/N: Ok, this is my first Sweeney Todd story...REVIEW PLEASE_

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Sweeney Todd...no matter how much I wish i did

**Chapter 1: A Depressing Proposal**

Johanna Barker had lived in Judge James Turpin's manor since she was an infant. What she remembered of her early childhood had not been unpleasant; quite the opposite, in fact. Turpin was kind, loving and caring. Johanna thought of him as a father and referred to him as such. Sure, he was a bit overprotective but he was, indeed, quite a good, loving father.

As the years went on, however, Turpin changed. As Johanna grew, his behavior towards her became strangely different. She began noticing that his eyes would linger over her body much longer than necessary, and sometimes they seem oddly clouded over. What really got to Johanna was what he did one day as they were out walking.

_Johanna and Turpin were walking home from a relatively pleasant day in Hyde Park. They walked past a tavern just as three, drunk young men walked out. Not realizing Turpin was their, let alone what his status was, one of them reached out and smacked Johanna on the backside while the others cat-called. She jumped forward with a squeak and turned to the men, glaring. Turpin turned to the boy that had hit her and grabbed him by his collar, throwing him to the ground on his stomach. He called out for a police officer as he held the man down. Grabbing a handful of hair, Turpin yanked his head back roughly._

_"Apologize to her," Turpin roared the command. "NOW!"_

_The terrified man looked up at Johanna. "I beg your pardon, miss. I was extremely out of place." He said kindly, hoping Turpin would let him go._

_A police officer hurried over to them, and Turpin handed the man over. "Put him in a cell; I'll deal with him tomorrow."_

_"Yes, my lord." The man replied, dragging the man away. _

_Turpin walked quickly back to Johanna and placed an arm around her waist. She shifted and stiffened, uncomfortable with his action. "Are you alright?" he asked, concerned. When he continued, Johanna could hear the possessiveness in his voice. "I won't let that man get away with hurting _my_ Johanna."_

_Johanna raised an eyebrow. "I'm fine, really, father. It's not a big deal; I'm not hurt at all." She argued, trying to dismiss the situation._

_Turpin waved off her comment. "Of course it is; let's not speak of this anymore." He said, leading her home. _

_"Yes, father," she said, knowing not to argue._

Things continued to change at the manor, starting with Turpin buying Johanna new dresses. The house maid, Mrs. Harper, helped her put them on. She wore a bodice that was laced extremely tight and was cut low to show off her chest. When Johanna made to protest against the dress, Mrs. Harper shushed her.

"Miss Johanna, Lord Turpin has given me specific instructions that you are to wear these from now on, as you have become a woman and he requests that you appear as one." She said, quoting him.

Johanna put the dress on and gasped as the slit that ran up the side, running up to her knee. "Mrs. Harper? Can you fix it? I didn't mean to rip it." She said, worried.

The maid rolled her eyes. "No, you daft child, it is supposed to be like that." She told Johanna.

That same night, at dinner, Turpin could barely pull his eyes from Johanna's chest. He also insisted that she use his first name instead of calling him father. Johanna agreed, reluctantly.

When Turpin caught the Beadle staring at Johanna several times, he spoke to her. "Johanna, why don't you go up to your room? I need to ask you something."

"Yes, sir," she said, walking up the stairs, nervously. She sat down on her bed, playing absentmindedly with her hands.

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As soon as Turpin entered Johanna's room, he walked to her and grabbed her hands, pulling her up. She looked at him, confusion plastered on her face.

He smiled broadly as he spoke. "I have wonderful news, my dear Johanna."

"Is that so, fath-…I mean, James?" she asked.

He nodded before continuing, "Do you remember when I told you about all of the horrible men in the world?"

Johanna nodded, "Yes, sir."

His eyes were strangely clouded again. "There are men of different and far higher breed. I have one in mind for you."

Johanna's interest was caught. She raised an eyebrow. "You have?"

Turpin nodded. "A gentle man, who would shield you from all earthly cares and guide your faltering steps to the sober warmth of womanhood-a husband-a protector-and yet an ardent lover too. It is a man who, through all the years, has surely earned your affection." He said, dropping to his knees while still grasping her hands.

Eyes going wide and face paling, Johanna pulled away from Turpin. "Y-you?!"

Turpin, confused at Johanna's reaction, stood and crossed the room to her. "Yes, my dear…me." He pulled a large diamond ring from his pocket and kneeled again. "Will you marry me?"

Johanna shook her head. "Marry you? N-no! I can't…I won't marry you."

Turpin rose, fury burning in his eyes. "I'm afraid you don't have a choice, _wife_." He said, pulling her against him and shoving the ring onto her finger.

Johanna pulled away from him and threw herself onto her bed, sobbing loudly. Turpin shook his head, standing in the doorway. "I am doing such a big favor for you, Johanna and this is the thanks I get. You don't realize that I'm shielding you from the evils of this damned world." He said before walking out and slamming the door. Pulling a key from his vest pocket, Turpin locked the door with a click.

_A/N: Ok...there it is...should I continue? Should I never write again? I want input...Constructive critism is appreciated...Flames are welcome but will be countered by large buckets of water... :)_


	2. Chapter 2: Dreading the Wedding

**I Don't Wanna Be In Love**

_A/N: I STILL do not own Sweeney Todd or anything to do with it, unfortunately :(_

**Chapter 2: Dreading the Wedding**

Mrs. Harper woke Johanna early on the morning of the wedding. Turpin had decided to hold the wedding and reception at the manor. Johanna nibbled at her toast, nerves fluttering in her stomach.

"Miss Johanna, you must eat more than that," The maid told her. "We can't have you fainting from hunger at the wedding." The woman peered at Johanna through the vanity mirror as she ran a brush through the girl's long, golden locks.

Johanna nodded and took a larger bite of toast. Immediately, she felt it make her stomach turn. She put it down and pushed the plate away. "I'm sorry; I'm just too nervous to eat."

Mrs. Harper laughed. "Nervous? About what? You must be the luckiest girl in all of London."

Johanna rolled her eyes; it was no secret that the maid had and infatuation for Judge Turpin. "I'd gladly trade places with you if I could," Johanna said.

Mrs. Harper shook her head as she began to twist Johanna's hair into an intricate design. "How could you say such a thing, miss?"

"How?! Perhaps it is because he is like a father to me, and I am being forced to marry him. I dread to think of what will happen after we wed. He thinks I don't see the way he stares," she hissed.

Mrs. Harper smiled and placed a hand on the girl's shoulder. "You're just nervous about _tonight_…" she said, letting her voice trail off suggestively.

Johanna stared at the older woman as a blush rose to her cheeks. "Of course I am, but that's not the only thing." She argued.

"You'll be fine, dear. I have seen those books in his study as I clean, miss…book all about things a man and woman can do together. I am sure he will be able to pleasure you like no other," she gushed.

Johanna shot a horrible glare at the maid as the older woman admired the work she had done on Johanna's hair. "Get out!" She yelled, causing the woman to jump and gawk at her in confusion. "You are out of line…Get out! Do not return until you absolutely must." She yelled.

Mrs. Harper's eyes narrowed, but she nodded. "Of course, Miss Johanna," she said, leaving the room.

Of course Johanna was nervous. She was about to marry the man she had considered her father for the past fifteen years. Unable to control her emotions, Johanna covered her face with her hands and sobbed. She layed face down on her bed and cried until her shoulders shook. After she stopped crying, Johanna composed herself and sat on the window seat. She stared longingly out the window at the one thing she craved but would never have; freedom.

A knock on the door an hour later broke her from her reverie. "Miss Johanna?" Mrs. Harper called hesitantly from the door. "We must get you dressed and ready."

Johanna sighed. "Come in, then," she said, her voice tired and still hoarse from crying.

Mrs. Harper let herself in, closing the door behind her. "Lets get your face done up before we get you into your dress," she said.

Johanna nodded, her face showing no emotion. She stood from her seat at the window and sat before the vanity. Mrs. Harper added only minor hints of make-up to Johanna's naturally beautiful face. The maid took a step back to assess her work. "Very pretty, Miss Johanna. Very pretty."

Mrs. Harper took Johanna's hand and pulled her up. She led Johanna to the center of the room and went to retrieve the dress, corset and underskirts. The older woman unlaced the corset Johanna had been wearing, and they replaced it with the white corset, trimmed with lace. Mrs. Harper laced it up extre tightly and none too gently. Johanna swallowed the bile rising in her throat as she pulled on the pure white underskirt and looked at herself in the mirror. She willed away the tears threatening to fall.

Mrs. Harper helped Johanna step into the white gown with flowers sequenced into the skirt. She pulled up the low-cut top and Mrs. Harper carefully buttoned all 25 buttons running down Johanna's spine. Johanna stared at herself in the mirror, absentmindedly.

Johanna was, once again, brought back to reality by a knock on the door. Mrs. Harper spoke as she walked to the door. "Lord Turpin, it is bad luck to see the bride-" she stopped when she opened the door. "Oh, Beadle Bamford, sir. I apologize," she said.

The short, greasy man walked into Johanna's room carrying two small boxes. "It is quite alright, madam, I assure you." He said. "If you would excuse us..."

"You are too kind, sir," Mrs. Harper said, leaving the room.

Bamford walked over to Johanna, and she noticed his eyes rake over her body. She grimaced and cleared her throat, grabbing his attention. "Why, Johanna, you look absolutely…stunning," he complimented her.

Johanna inwardly scowled, but masked her face. "Thank you, sir," she said.

Bamford placed one of the boxes on her vanity and opened the other, revealing a pair of superbly cut diamond earrings. "Milord had asked that I give these to you, in hopes that you will wear them to the ceremony," he said.

Johanna plastered a fake smile onto her face as she sat back down at the vanity and put the earrings on. She watched through the mirror as the Beadle pulled a matching diamond necklace from the second box. Had it been from anyone else, it would have taken her breath away. Instead, it made her nauseous. The Beadle stared at Johanna in the mirror as he placed it around her neck. Johanna could fake her smile no longer and a frown fell onto her face.

This move was, apparently, obvious to Bamford. He moved to the front of Johanna and kneeled before her chair, taking her hand. "I can clearly see how miserable you are, my dear Johanna," he said.

"Oh, no, sir. I am-" she began, but he cut her off.

"Don't lie. I believe James sees it as well. He, however, chooses to overlook it." He was silent for a moment, and Johanna noticed that he looked as though he was pondering something. He shook his head slightly and placed a hand on Johanna' cheek to her dismay. "I can give you what you long for," he said, his voice lowered to barely a whisper. "Come away with me, Johanna. We shall sail to America…you will be free. We will be able to wed and start our own family."

_'You greedy bastard,'_ she thought. _'If I went with you, I would be just as trapped as I would be if I stayed here.' _When she spoke, she disguised her voice to prevent herself from revealing her repulsion in both men. "As…_tempting_ as that sounds, sir…I, uh, feel as though there could be something between James and I," she lied, resisting the urge to gag.

The Beadle narrowed his eyes, seeing through her lie. "If you say so, _Mrs. Turpin_." he said, trying to change her mind.

Johanna visibly shuddered at the name, but composed herself, tired of listening to him. "I do say so, sir, and I would appreciate-" she began.

Mrs. Harper rapped on the door again. "Miss Johanna, Beadle Bamford, sir…its time to begin," she said through the door.

Johanna swallowed nervously as the Beadle offered her his arm. "Well then," he said, sounding slightly defeated. "Let's get you married."

_A/N: Poor Johanna...Things will get better for her, but unfortunately they will get much worse first :( I'm torturing her, I know._

_Review, PLEASE!!_

_Postings wll be probably once a week or every other week for now as I am VERY busy with end of school year things...Summer is a mere 29 school days away and posting should pick up GREATLY durng that time. _

_Up Next: Johanna gets married, much to her dismay_

_Then: A wedding night from hell...OH NO!_

_PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REvIEW!!_


	3. Chapter 3: Wedding Bells Ringing

I Don't Wanna Be in Love

**I Don't Wanna Be in Love**

_A/N: I don't own ANYTHING that as to do with Sweeney Todd. I know, I'm sad too…_

**Chapter 3: Wedding Bells Ringing**

Johanna watched as the Beadle plastered a fake smile on his greasy face. He took her hand. "Come, Miss Johanna," he repeated, giving her a tug in his direction.

Johanna followed reluctantly down the hall and stairs. She could hear the organ music playing. She peaked around the corner to see the room filled with people. Turpin stood at the alter, wearing his best suit.

She heard the music change to the wedding march and heard the people stand. The Beadle pulled her forward and she took a deep breath. They entered the room and Johanna felt tears of defeat threatening her eyes. She had thought of every possible way to get out of this and, yet, here she was, walking down the aisle. She looked at the faces of the people, a majority of the women smiled and men had lustful looks on their faces. She looked forward to the alter and saw Turpin shuffling on is feet, a broad smile upon his face.

As they reached the alter, the Beadle lifted her veil and placed her hands in Turpin's. It was all Johanna could do to not cringe in disgust. He smiled down at her and led her to the priest.

"You look stunning," Turpin said before the priest started. Johanna shivered in disgust but managed to mask her face.

As the priest spoke, Johanna became lost in thought. She repeated what she was told to and put the ring on Turpin's finger, but she didn't really comprehend anything that was happening. When the priest asked for objections, Johanna looked out into the crowd. She was sure there was a look of longing on her face for someone, anyone to object but there was no one.

The priest clasped his hands together. "May I now pronounce you husband and wife," He turned to Turpin. "You may kiss the bride." He said, happily.

Johanna watched Turpin, unable to mask her fear and uncertainty. His lips moved to hers and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. When he stepped back, he flashed her a smile. He clasped her small hand in his and they turned to the crowd of people. "Please join us for dinner and dancing in the ballroom," he announced, happily.

Johanna sat at the table, pushing the food around on her plate. She didn't eat but quickly down the glass of champagne that Turpin allowed her. The orchestra began to play music, and Johanna felt herself being pulled from the table. Turpin pulled her to the empty dance floor. He took her hand and placed his own on her waist. He spun and twirled her throughout the song, and Johanna was relieved when it was over. She sat at the table for a few hours as the others danced and had a merry time.

She stole several sips from Turpin's goblet, tasting the stronger substance, grateful for it. Just past midnight, the orchestra played their last song. Johanna felt herself suppressing a yawn, as Turpin walked back to the table. He pulled her up and placed an arm around her. "Thank you all for coming." He said as he and the Beadle ushered people out.

Johanna stood by the table, nervously awaiting what was to come. Turpin showed the Beadle out before sending the servants home and returning to Johanna. "Let us retire, my dear," he said. "I'll be right behind you." He motioned for her to head up the stairs.

Johanna nodded and headed slowly up the stairs. She walked to her room and turned the handle only to find the door locked. She heard Turpin chuckle from behind her and stiffened. "Now, now darling. We're married. No need for you to stay in that room when you could join me." He said. Turpin put his arm around Johanna and pulled her towards his room.

_A/N: Sorry for the long delay...and the short chapter..._

_up next..._the wedding night


	4. Chapter 4: Wedding Night From Hell

I Don't Wanna Be In Love

**I Don't Wanna Be In Love**

_A/N: I own __NOTHING__ that has to do with Sweeney Todd!! Nothing!!_

_WARNING: I have NEVER written a scene like this and it will probably suck. Please stick with me…P.S. this is basically rape, so if it bothers you…you have been warned._

**Chapter 4: Wedding Night From Hell**

Johanna felt bile rise into her throat as she was pushed into his room. Her old dresser was next to his, fully stocked with her clothes. The small vanity had been placed in the corner, filled with her old personal things along with many new perfumes. Her eyes locked onto the bed. A pure white nightgown was sitting on the bed next to a long white nightshirt. She swallowed nervously.

"Feel free to change into that," James said, kissing Johanna's neck. She started and shivered, unaware that he was standing right behind her. He moved forward and took the nightshirt. Smirking, he walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

Moving at the speed of light, Johanna pulled off her wedding gown, and underskirts. She left the corset and her knickers in place before pulling the nightgown on quickly. She placed the dress and skirts on the vanity chair and climbed into the bed. She moved to the far edge and lay on her side, facing away from the bathroom door, pretending to be asleep.

Moments later, she cringed, hearing the bathroom door reopen. She bit her lip, keeping her eyes closed firmly as she listened to his footsteps. Johanna felt the bed sink down on the opposite side as he sat upon it. He pulled the covers back and chuckled, moving close to her.

"Ah…dearest Johanna, are you sleeping already?" he teased, knowing he wouldn't just be handed what he wanted. "And I had so…many…fun…things planned for us." As he said this, he placed his hand on her thigh and slowly moved it up to her hip. She shuddered in disgust and Turpin laughed. "Ah…not asleep. As I suspected," he said.

Johanna looked over her shoulder at him, fear and disgust in her eyes. The sneer on his face softened as he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and pulled her onto her back so she was looking up at him. He placed a gentle hand on her cheek. "Johanna…I promise you that you have nothing to fear. This could be quite pleasurable for you, indeed." He said.

Johanna watched in fear as he moved over top of her, keeping a leg on either side of her. She was trapped. Her eyes darted around the room looking for a way out. The window…locked. Door, locked. Her eyes met the small fireplace, and the poker next to it. If she could reach it…

She was pulled out of her thoughts when she felt his lips on hers. She pressed herself into the mattress, trying to get away from him. He bit her bottom lip roughly and she gasped in pain. Using this to his advantage, Turpin slipped his tongue into her mouth, exploring her mouth and caressing her tongue. She placed her hands on his chest, trying to push him away. After a moment, he did so. "If you would relax, you would really enjoy this." He said. His lips moved to her neck and he began to nip and lick at her skin.

Johanna began to cry, tears slowly ran down her cheeks. She turned her head to the side, trying to avoid seeing him. Turpin slid a hand up her side, frowning when he felt that her corset was still in place. He growled and pulled the nightgown from her delicate body, eliciting a whimper from his young wife. He pulled his white nightshirt from himself and threw it on the floor.

"That's better," Turpin said, gruffly. He unlaced her corset, grinning when it fell open. Johanna tried to cover herself, but Turpin grabbed her wrists, holding them above her hand. Using his free hand, he pulled the corset from under her so her top half was completely bare. He stared, hungrily at Johanna's small breasts. She already felt his hardness pressing against her cloth-covered entrance. She didn't know much about intimacy, but she had flipped through enough of his _books _to know why his body was reacting in such a way.

Johanna cried out in fear and embarrassment when he took one of his breasts in her mouth. He looked up and her and sighed. "Relax," he cooed. "Try and enjoy it." He added, before his mouth found its way to her other breast. Johanna sighed in defeat, tears still slipping down her face. She stopped trying to resist him, falling limp against the bed. She let out a quiet gasp when his finger slipped beneath her knickers and into her wetness. He pumped it slowly as she continued to cry. After a moment, he slipped another finger in.

Johanna bit her lip, unable to prevent herself from arching slightly towards his hand. She groaned in frustration, and he smiled broadly, mistaking it for pleasure. He ripped her knickers from her body and placed himself at her entrance. He pushed in roughly and Johanna cried out in pain, grasping his arms for support. He gave her only moments to adjust to his girth before he began to move.

Johanna bit her lip as he moved against her, moaning loudly in pleasure. He revealed in her tight heat. He lasted only a few moments (though it seemed like years to Johanna) before spilling his seed deep inside of her. He bit her shoulder in his release, breaking the skin. She felt him pull out of her and roll to the side before pulling her towards him. She tried to pull away and he allowed her to. She laid on the edge of the bed, facing away from him as the tears continued to pour down her face.

_A/N: Gah! My first lemon…it was horrible…I'm sorry…_

_AND!! I am soooooooooo sorry for the wait. I am a horrible person…Please forgive me!!_


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